The other day I happened upon a concept that I was unfamiliar with. It's called companion gardening. As I try each season to develop my gardening skills, I was instantly drawn to the phrase and wanted to know more about it. The basic premise is that in nature there are certain plants that encourage the growth and development of others and certain that actually repel or depress the progression of their neighbors. Skilled companion gardeners take time to learn and research what plants should be positioned next to each other for optimal development.

The concept of companion gardening was intriguing to me not only as a novice gardener, but also as a therapist who specializes in women's empowerment. Immediately I began to marvel at my sister, Mother Nature, and the brilliant ways that she clues us in to how to live. If you understand companion gardening then you understand that the company that you keep can either impair or empower you. Your friends, coworkers and associates either upgrade or hinder you. Their attitudes, beliefs, actions, goals, etc. are either rays of light or suffocating weeds.

Take out a piece of paper. Draw a picture of a flower in the middle of the page. This flower is you. Now draw and number ten flowers around the picture. On a separate piece of paper write the number one and then assign a name to the first flower. Number one should be a person that has a significant place in your life. Ask yourself the following questions about the first person.

• What role does he/she play in my life?
• What does he/she believe about success?
• Is he/she happy?
• Does he/she make me happy?
• What does he/she do consistently to help others?

Repeat this exercise for all ten flowers and then ask yourself. How healthy is your garden?

I believe in divine purpose. I believe in a creator that is not wasteful. I believe that I was created for a purpose (or many purposes). I believe the exact same thing about each and every one of my clients. I follow nature. I'm a gardener. It is overwhelming sometimes for me to sit in my garden and watch the natural order of things; the delicate cycle of life. In my garden I watch every creature, from the smallest bug to the largest tree, know its role and play its position. The ants march orderly, destined to fulfill their life's purpose. They are soldiers, protectors, warriors. Some are hunters and gatherers. Some ants care for the larvae and trust me they know when to fight and when to exit and regroup.

What I have learned from watching the creatures in my garden is that when you have a job to do and you believe that your mission is your reason for living...it's hard to be depressed. I don't find too many ants abandoning ship in my backyard. Even when I displace their environment by planting a new crop or adding a stone decoration, the ant will fight very hard to return to its job...to doing what it is supposed to be doing.

We have that same passion. We have that same desire. Our spirits are fighting to fulfill their purpose in the limited time that they have on this planet, but for many of us we are our own roadblock. Our thoughts, our narrow vision, our weak faith get in the way of us fulfilling our responsibilities to the universe. Lack of order creates space for chaos. Chaos in our minds can become disease in our bodies. Uncovering your path and discovering your passion in not a luxury it is a necessity.

Instead of resolutions I encourage clients to establish goals. While resolutions are blanket statements delivered to the universe with no plan of action, no reference and no structure of measurement, SMART goals are Smart, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Timebound. Let's examine each component.

A specific goal answers the who, what when why questions. For example your New Year's resolution might be to start your own business, but your SMART goal will assist you in the planning of this project by answering the following questions:

What business will I start?

Where will my business operate?

Who will be my partners? Who will I need to work with?

Why is this business important to me?

When will I start?

A measureable goal is one that has milestones. Instead of setting the resolution of losing 25 pounds, a SMART goal might be to lose two pounds per month for the entire year of 2010. This way each month you are charting your loss and you can see what works for you and adjust monthly if you find a certain workout or nutrition plan isn't doing what you expected. Also a measureable goal leaves less room for surprise at the end!

An attainable goal is a large goal that is broken down into smaller, easier to accomplish parts. Take the weight loss goal for example. By breaking down the 25 pound goal into 12 smaller parts, you get to celebrate and encourage yourself along the way. Are your goals for 2010 attainable?

When first introduced to the SMART goal system I fought the realistic part. I thought who am I as a coach to tell someone that their goal is or isn't realistic, but working with clients every day has shown me why this is important. I believe that where there is a will there is a way, but I also believe that personal and physical factors can influence our ability to overcome certain challenges. I would never tell someone that they can't accomplish a goal, but we may need to determine whether or not you need additional time or resources to proceed.

Finally your goal should be time-bound. You should define start, end and check in points on the road to achieving your goal. If, for example, your goal is to write a book, you might want a date for your chapter outline, dates that each chapter will be completed, a date that the draft will go to your editor, etc. Making your goals timebound encourages constant effort. Trust me it works!

The holidays are here and now is the time that many people wake up and begin taking inventory of their year. We start to remember the promises that we've made to ourselves, our children or our God and many, many of us start down the lonely road of depression. Depression because we spent another year in a bad relationship or in an unhealthy environment. We're depressed because we failed to lose the 15 – 20 lbs that we made a resolution on lose last year. We're kicking ourselves in the behind because we have given someone else another year of our creativity, time and energy even though we said we were going to find another job. The last 45 days of the year are often the hardest days for many to face because we don't carefully plan the other 320 days.

Let me correct a common misunderstanding. A plan is simply not a list of things that we are going to do on certain days. A plan is an explanation of who, what, when, why and how. Creating a plan for achieving a goal takes work... almost as much work as actually performing the activity. Plans have rules and restrictions. Plans hold us accountable to ourselves and others, yet plans leave room for critique, review and adequate adjustments.

It is not second nature to properly plan for transition. We are typically not taught how to be intentional in our lives. We are a culture of people who were raised off messages such as, "Go with the flow," "Let Go and Let God," "If it's meant to be it will," and there is relevance to those expressions except when used deceitfully. There is balance to everything so I remind you that yes you should, "Be still and wait on him," but remember also that faith without works is dead. In all things there is a required action.

You must be the change in your life. You must initiate the new direction. Creating a list of resolutions at the end of each year is a pointless tradition if you are not willing to go the next step and formulate a plan to create those desires. Here is a complementary coaching session. Write down three things you want to achieve/do/or change in the next year. Now what are you willing to do to achieve/do/or change those things? Finally what actions will you perform, when, how, where and why will you do them? Spend some time with this exercise. If you need help consider a life coach. I offer phone consultations for those of you that are not in the Metro-Atlanta area.